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I always wanted to sing the Blues, but I never could get the Blues. Nothing that sad or tragic ever happened to me. Strange things, on the other hand, have happened abundantly and frequently. So whereas I do not have the Blues, what I do have is the Willies. People ax me, they say, “Tom, what’s the first time you ever got the Willies?” I tell ‘em, “The day I was born.” The Willies ain't nothin but a good man feelin weird. An example? Sure: Wonderin Willies They let me have fun and run free for five years “Welcome to Earth! We hope you have a ball.” Then they sent me to school, what a nasty surprise. “Freedom and fun? Life’s not like that at all. We want you to sit for an hour—don’t fidget! We cheered when you first learned to talk and to play. Now, don’t make a peep or pee without permission Who cares what you want? Just do as we say.”
Well it gave me the willies, and it made me wonder. Did anyone else notice? Is it just me? I saw no sign of the heebies or jeebies. They all seemed resigned to designed drudgery. I must be a freak, Lord I must be a weirdo. Why doesn’t everyone’s hair stand on end? If they’ve hammered you down to where this is okay, I sure do feel sorry for you, my friend. They’ve whittled your wits just to make you fit in.
One day Mother Nature showed up in my pants. I was impressed with the fireworks display. Hey, hey! This makes up for the dues I’ve been paying. Freedom and Fun once more ruled the day. Then they reared their sick, ugly head and they told me, “This is a sin, but it’s part of God’s plan. That thing that you call the best toy in creation: Don’t touch it or talk about it, understand?”
Well it gave me the willies, and it made me wonder. Did anyone else notice? Is it just me? I saw no sign of the heebies or jeebies. They all seemed resigned to designed drudgery. I must be a freak, Lord I must be a weirdo. Why doesn’t everyone’s hair stand on end? If they’ve hammered you down to where this is okay, I sure do feel sorry for you, my friend. That’s a Hell of a price to pay just to fit in.
Try as they may, they could not hide the girls. Hey, Lawdy mama! Now there was some fun. All shapes and sizes, all sorts of surprises, Then they said, “Hold on! You can only have one.” “What kind of nonsense is that?” I demanded. “Does full expression offend you somehow?” “It doesn’t work well, but it’s for your own good,” They said. “That’s all that God and the law will allow.”
Well it gave me the willies, and it made me wonder. Did anyone else notice? Is it just me? I saw no sign of the heebies or jeebies. They all seemed resigned to designed drudgery. I must be a freak, Lord I must be a weirdo. Why doesn’t everyone’s hair stand on end? If they’ve hammered you down to where this is okay, I sure do feel sorry for you, my friend. They shrink-wrap your soul, but good news: you fit in.
“There are some things you must wake up and smell. Life is a bitch, my boy, and then you die. Success is suppressing that Freedom and Fun, Then you might go to Heaven...you might qualify. Go get a job! But not one to your liking. Buy lots of useless stuff; distract yourself. Look both ways! Safety first! Don’t talk to strangers! Depression. Obsession. There ain’t nothing else.
Be grateful and glad you were not foreign born. God bless our country and damn all the rest. Freedom ain’t free and fun ain’t no fun. Our might and our money’s what make us the best.” The first five years ruined me; my memory’s strong. When all has been done and all has been said, I’ll make the most of my time in this place, But I’ll never respect it. I’d rather be dead.
It gives me the willies, and it makes me wonder. Does anyone else notice? Is it just me? I see no sign of the heebies or jeebies. They all seem resigned to designed drudgery. I must be a freak, Lord I must be a weirdo. Why doesn’t everyone’s hair stand on end? If they’ve hammered you down to where this is okay, I sure do feel sorry for you, my friend. If one size fits all, I don’t want to fit in.
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