It looked kind of pretty at first.

This is the limb that ripped the electric meter off the house and blocked the road for several days.

                                                 The biggest limb is the one that fell on Nat and me.

Hey, that looks dangerous enough.

Those trees frozen to the railing on the rear deck? Those are the neighbor's trees and usually stand in their yard.

                                                                                      Oh, look: There's the generator!

                                                           We live on the corner of...well it's kind of hard to tell.

In the Hoot Palace, we always have plenty of candles on hand.

Yeah, at first it was kind of fun....roasting weenies over a candle, telling "How cold was it?" jokes.... How cold was it? It was so cold, I saw a squirrel trying to start a fire by rubbing his nuts together. Now that's cold.

How cold was it? I'll tell You how cold it was: It was so cold, I saw one dog trying to jump-start another one. We were eating hot chocolate on a stick. Lawyers had their hands in their own pockets (Mark Twain told me that one). Jack Frost was nipping at my ex-wife (I have no idea what that means, but damn it was cold!). Flashers were shouting out verbal descriptions. Gentlemen were wearing electric dickeys. I was using a hot water bottle instead of my Thigh-Master. Starbucks was charging fifty dollars an hour to sit on their percolator. Mae West said, "You're not glad to see me, are you?" Chilly Willy changed his name to Freezy Weezy. My tongue got stuck to a jalapeņo. Bobbie kept insisting, "No, really, I don't even own a wonder bra." Mount St. Helens was spewing dilly bars. And the ever-popular, it was so cold I saw a dog frozen to a fire hydrant (okay, it's not original, but it's a classic).

Clean up? No problem. I told the Girls all I needed was my trusty axe and for them to stand back out of harm's way. That lasted...well I chopped two limbs in half. I cannot tell a lie. Actually I can tell a lie, but I won't. The Paul Bunyan syndrome lasted several minutes. I worked up an appetite. "Bring me some lumberjack biscuits, some man-handler soup, and a brawny paper towel! And a biggie-sized stack-O-pancakes. And a whole fried chicken. And at least a quart of Gentleman Jack. The Good Lord loves a workin man."  

They went out and bought one of these:

The old reliable. MS 192 T. And they know how to use it, too. I can hear it runnin from my warm spot in the Hoot Palace. Those Gals are gettin the job done. I'm mighty proud of 'em. And this fried chicken is great. What's the point of finally havin the electricity on (after two weeks in the cold and dark) if a feller can't sit in the basement and enjoy the heat? Who wants to be outdoors cuttin limbs? Not none of me. Hell's bells, it's cold out there. How cold is it? I'll tell Ya how cold it is....

Okay, it's not so cold that I can't get all bundled up, go outside and snap a few pictures of the Beaver Patrol:

The neighbor's trees have thawed and sproinged back into their yard. Bobbie is wearin my White Mule work gloves. They were part of my River Days museum...never thought they'd see action. I am pleased to have been able to contribute to the cause. That's Josie in the background. She's a natural-born consultant.

There's just somethin about a woman with a chain saw, especially when it's the girl of your dreams. Makes me want to be on my best behavior.

Natalie might be the Belle of the Ball and a certified genius, but she doesn't mind gettin her hands dirty, gettin out there and workin with the commoners. I like that in a Fairy Princess erudite goddess.

Doug is helpin them stack and tote. No reason for me to be out here freezin my lens cap off.

Yes, sir, spring finally did arrive. By Mother's Day we were beginning to whisper with confidence, "I think the cold weather is finally behind us."

Home              May Day Mom