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Lulu the Guru
A group of people found themselves in prison. They could not recall committing any crime, but there they were nonetheless. They were told that the only way to escape the prison was to observe, to impartially watch themselves both inwardly and outwardly. There was nothing they had to physically do, but there was something they had to see, something to notice that would show them the way out. Some of the people joined a group of other prisoners who were very active in governing the rest of the prisoners. The group was opposed by other groups, and all were consumed with which philosophies and practices were the right ones. Their time was eaten up with debates, elections, temporary wins and losses. Another group joined together to listen to someone tell them that they had indeed committed a crime and that they must pay for it. Just because they did not recall the criminal deed, that was no reason to think they were not guilty and deserving of severe punishment. They would be freed from prison, money-back guarantee, after they died—if they didn’t screw up again. Hell of a deal. They expended vast quantities of energy and time feeling bad about what they had done (whatever it was), trying not to do it again, and in recruiting others to come and hear the good news. Other groups formed teams that competed against the teams from other prisons. Being number one seemed to take the sting out of being incarcerated. Some of the folks pretended to observe, but their time was spent mostly in daydreaming, decrying the injustice of it all, or lamenting the fact that they were there in the first place. This observing stuff was not nearly as easy as it sounded. The Observation Club forgot that they were supposed to watch themselves. Instead, they watched others. The Loyal Sons and Daughters of Self-Flagellation forgot the impartial part. They watched themselves, apologizing incessantly and vowing to change their ways. Their motto: God, We Suck! The Horn Blowers Society (they venerated Dinah and met in the kitchen) forgot the impartial part, too. They went on and on about all of their self-improvement and humbly prayed that someday everyone would be as wonderful as they. Their motto: Dig me! Lulu watched herself impartially until she woke up. She was then free to come and go as she pleased. That set some of the population to fuming. “It ain’t fair, man; how come she gits to…” “She ain’t even a member of our group, and nobody gets out without being a member of our group! It says so right here in our bylaws!” Some denied Lulu’s existence. Odd as it seems, most didn’t even notice her. A few who did notice Lulu asked for her help. They had enough sense to consult a guide who knew the territory. While everyone else played Follow the Follower, this small band chose to follow a Leader. Lulu had once been a champion RunKickBounceLiftHitCatchThrow player. She had more pieces of polished metal and gold stickers than anyone. She knew what it was like to be number one. “That experience,” Lulu explained, “helped me hone my focus and concentration. I watched myself, ever vigilant for areas I could improve, anything that would give me the slightest edge. Playing on a team instilled an appreciation for being part of something larger, of contributing to the whole.” “That’s all real nice,” Ed said, “but most of us are spectators. How can we learn anything from that?” Lulu smiled. “Anything can be used to develop our powers of observation. What anyone does or does not do has nothing to do with it.” “But what about those idiots that—” “It doesn’t matter,” Lulu declared. “But they really tick me off!” “No they don’t.” Lulu winked at Ed. “Other people are never the problem. You are what bothers you about them.” Ed threw his hands up in disgust. “So much for simple answers.” “Oh, it’s simplicity itself, Ed. You’re the one who is complicating it. Relax. You can choose what you think about at any given moment. Just because you haven’t done it before, that does not mean that it can’t be done. Like any other worthwhile thing you’ve learned, it takes practice, but if something is important to us we always find the time and energy and resources for it.” She could tell that Ed was really trying to understand. “It’s not what happens to us—we don’t always have control over that; what matters is how we choose to process the things that happen. That’s why we observe impartially. We want to get away from labeling things, including ourselves. Nobody can tick you off; only you have the power to do that because you are the only one who is choosing to be angry. We are constantly handing our sanity and our well being over to people who couldn’t care less how we feel. Kind of nutty, don’t you think?” Ed played his trump card: “But other people just don’t act right. You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed that! The world’s a mess, just look at it!” “Tell me, Ed, has anyone ever come up to you, first thing in the morning, and said, ‘Tell me how to live today. Tell me how to act, how to look, how to think.’ Has that ever happened?” “No.” “Do you think it ever will?” “Most likely not.” “Then what are the chances of everyone in the whole world turning to you for advice?” “Not much.” “They’re not going to change, Ed. That bothers you?” “Yes, it does.” Ed’s eyes met hers. “It would bother anyone.” “If something bothers you and what bothers you is not going to change, you have two choices: Surrender to a lifetime of being bothered, or change you own self.” “So, I’m the one who has to give in? Isn’t that like sticking my head in the sand and pretending not to notice?” “It’s like finally pulling your head out of the sand and noticing how things really work.” Lulu waved her arm in a slow, sweeping circle. “Nothing is going to change out there—” She gently pressed her index fingers to Ed’s temples. “—until things change in here. The inner controls the outer. How’s that for simple?” Lulu told the small gathering how to go about observing themselves without forming opinions. “Simply notice what you are doing from one moment to the next. You might say something like, ‘It is angry because It allowed that person’s opinion to upset It.’ Or, ‘It thinks It has to have another cigarette or a chocolate chip cookie.’ I say It because I know that who I really am is much more than just some animated carcass that’s been labeled as Lulu. Who I really am cannot possibly get angry or upset because there is ultimately nothing to be upset about; who I really am does not have to have anything because who I really am already is everything—part of the Whole. Please do not judge It’s actions. What do you really know about cigarettes and chocolate chip cookies, anyway? Just be aware of what It is up to. The rest will take care of itself. Maybe It will lose all desire for nicotine. Maybe It will discover a wonderful new recipe for chocolate chip cookies and win the blue ribbon at the County Fair. That doesn’t matter. Don’t guilt-trip yourself; just watch yourself. Try not to let It do anything that escapes your attention. Again, this will take practice. “Is it worth it? Well, what do you want more? Your freedom or some impotent daydream? Your liberty or your negative opinions? Do not answer, for your actions, not your words, will reveal the truth.”
Impartial self-observation leads to self-awakening which leads to self-liberation. ~ Vernon Howard
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